What to blog?

School seems to be the story of my life. I ended another semester at Weber, only five more remain!!!! This summer semesters is pretty relaxed; I am taking a health educator's class online and then I also have a British Lit class that will start at the end of June. Until then I have been studying for my CAAP test. I will be taking it June 4th. This test is required to apply to the education department. It mimics the ACT. Also, I didn't end up getting the straight A's I hoped for, but I did get 3 A's and a B!

Since I am tired of just writing about school and I haven't really been writing poems or stories as often as I should--- I don't really know what to write about. I will however, give a quick update on my dad. It has been a few months since I have talked about the whole WBC & platelets. Dad went to Huntsman Cancer Institute where he was evaluated. They looked at the bone marrow biopsy that he had done in March (I believe), they too stated that it is not Leukemia. WHEW!!!! They are not really sure what is going on. One of the doctors believed it could be Myelodysplastic syndrome (pre-leukemia), but he didn't feel confident in making that diagnosis. They sent dad home with really no answers and we are back to square one. Dad eventually got over his sinus infection (it took several months), he still gets tired easily, and his counts are still low. However, dad has made it very clear he isn't going to worry if the doctors are not worrying. He isn't on any treatments for it and the last blood test showed that his counts were normal again. I guess we will just live life and worry later! :-)

Thanks for reading and I am sure I will add some poems and stories soon!

Dad update...

So, things have taken me away from keeping up on this blog once again. However, I have come to terms with this fact, I will never be one that updates and post regularly.

Here is a quick update on what has been happening in my life and the lives of the Burton family.

As for me, I am still working hard in all of my classes...only five more weeks left of this semester!!! I have healed from my surgery wonderfully and at my two week appointment all of my restrictions were lifted. I finally heard back from "Metaphor" (Weber State's literary journal), none of the pieces I submitted will be included in this edition. It hurt to hear that, but then again I don't consider myself that great of a writer so all is well. I will include on this post the three pieces I submitted (yes, they are included in earlier post, but I have made modifications to them).

As for the rest of the Burtons, life is still an up and down roller coaster. Dad finally figured out why his face has been swelling, he is allergic to the antibiotic the doctor proscribed. Now that he is no longer on that the only concern is figuring out why his white blood count and platelets are so low. When he was admitted to the hospital back in February his white blood count was at 2.1 (normally between 5 &10) and his platelets were 10 (normally 150-400). Therefore his body would not be able to fight the infection that he had. While he was in the hospital they gave him some platelet transfusions which brought his WBC to 4.5 and his platelets to 97. Still low, but manageable.

Upon being released from the hospital he has gone through several tests. His counts have started to decrease once again. They did a bone marrow biopsy (he had one a few years ago too)but this showed exactly the same thing it did last time---nothing. He has seen an ear, nose, and throat specialist but was told they don't think that is causing any of the problems. Dr. Hansen (the oncologist at McKay Dee) has referred my dad to Huntsman's Cancer Institute since he does not know what is going on. My dad has an appointment next week with them and hopefully we can get a name, condition, and treatment for whatever is going on. My dad is staying hopeful and positive throughout all of this. He has been going to work trying to keep his mind occupied. This week he is finally starting to sound and look better (we believe the sinus infection is finally leaving his system after 2 months). I will post once we know more! Thank you to all our friends and family who have been keeping us in your thoughts and prayers we truly feel them!





As stated above, these are the pieces I submitted to "Metaphor"....

my poems....

Gift of Freedom

Red, White, and Blue
Oh, how can I repay you?
You stand at attention
And yet often go unmentioned.

Your loved ones stand by
So that our flag can fly;
You fight for our voice
and to give us a choice.

Red, White, and Blue
Oh, how can I repay you?
You put yourself in danger,
all for some strangers.

You die so we can live
It’s such a precious gift you give.
As I stand by your grave
I’m grateful you were brave.

Masquerade
Every day is like Halloween,
I wake up and put on a different mask.
Some days I am Bo-Bo the Clown,
laughing away my tears.
Other days I am a biker chick—
my tough exterior hiding the fear I have within.
I once was an heiress to some grand fortune
just to be accepted into a group.
At times I feel like Perfect Penny,
too afraid to show people that I am human.
But, being all of these people is getting exhausting
I am ready to remove my mask and
for the first time be myself!

Crazy week...

Life has been turned a little upside down this past week. I am one that likes to follow a routine and this week has been so disorderly. It started off bad back at the end of January, our sweet Picasso (our family dog) had been having mini seizure/stroke episodes. So, we took her to the vet. He told us it was a simple urinary track infection and to give her these pills and keep and eye on her. Well starting the first week of February she would not eat and kept throwing up at night. So, my dad called the vet and spoke with them; they ordered a x-ray for her. When he took her to get the x-ray she had another one of those episodes..this one being the worse she has had. After this episode she was unable to stand or walk. The vet kept her overnight to hopefully regain some strength and the next day they wanted to do an ultrasound. My dad drove to Salt Lake for her to have the ultrasound. What they found was cancer--everywhere throughout her body. My parents were the ones with her at this time and they made the decision (one I agree with, but it's still difficult) that it would be best to end her pain and suffering and put her down.



She was the sweetest dog, who loved the snow but hated water. She loved to leap and jump on her bones then carry them in her mouth to show everyone what she had. She was so protective and I will miss her greatly.



My week continued to be stressful, my first surgery was on Feb. 4th. I was scheduled to be there bright and early (6:30am), and surgery was at 7:30am. My dad was the one that was able to come with me; which I was so grateful for. He is the only one besides my sister Kacee who can calm me down. My surgeon is a wonderful man and was able to joke around to put me at ease as well. Everything went really smoothly. My gallbladder was removed. After they remove it they open it up and look at it. Inside there was found gallstones that the ultrasound missed. So not only did it not function properly I had gallstones that cause all my pain. I have been recouping and trying to keep my mind occupied. I am not one to sit and just do nothing so it has been difficult.

It has also been difficult, because I haven't felt up to being there for my family when they need me. On Saturday, Feb. 5th my dad woke up with his lips, cheeks, and nose swollen. He went to the Dr. and was told it was a sinus infection. On Sunday he woke up to it being bigger. He decided to go to the E.R. instead of his Dr. They hooked up and I.V. and ran several tests. For the last few years my dad has been battling to keep his white blood cells and platelets up. They have been extremely low; they have done so many tests HIV, Hepatitis, Bone Marrow Biopsy, etc... But everything comes up negative. Well, on Sunday his platelets and white blood cells were extremely low again, so they admitted him to the hospital. This time they gave him a platelet transfusion. Yesterday his swelling was gone and we had hopes that he was being released today, but nope! They had some specialist come and check things out. One of the doctors stated that he will not release him until he figures out why is blood count is so low. He also stated that he is upset that it has gone on for so many years and that doctors have just passed him around not really trying to figure things out. Hopefully they can figure out what is causing all of these problems for my dad and get it fixed.

Hard Working Hands....

A girl who used to live in my ward, Sarah Carruth, is a photographer. A few weeks ago she posted some pictures of her father's hands and talked about them in a way I had never really thought about before. She described her father's hands by saying,

"if you want an example of strength, hard work, and love, look at my Dad's hands. You can literally tell how much life my dad has lived just by glancing at his hands. I remember being really little and holding his hands and marveling at how cracked and calloused they were. How they felt so scratchy to the touch and how his nails, even when very clean were always etched in black"

--http://sarahknightphotography.blogspot.com/2011/01/most-important-project-ill-ever-do.html

This post really tugged at my heart strings. As I read her post I imagined my own father's hands. I remember when I was younger my dad would trace my face with his fingers to help put me to sleep; his hands always so soft and gentle. My dad, like Sarah's, is such a hard worker. Always willing to put in the extra work to get something accomplished. He has used his hands to work in the yard, finish our basement,and comfort us when needed. Sarah's post inspired me to write down a poem about my dad's hands. It is not very well put together, but it is a start of something that I hope will be something I can cherish forever.



Hard Working Hands

Hands that was once beautiful and kind
Now bare the signs of daily grind.
Rigid, callused, and old
If you look closely a story is told.
Each wrinkle a chapter, each scar a test
That was written while doing their best.
They built a home, raised a family, and consoled neighbors
Now they are roadmaps of one’s own labors.
They taught, scolded, and were lifted in prayer
Always ready to dig, lift, or to share.
Now they remind us of life’s treasures
No two hands have brought so much pleasure.

Absentee...

I am still trying to get the hang of this blog, that includes remembering that I have one and I need to post on it (so I'm sorry for the long post). Things have been pretty busy for me the last few weeks. I started another block of summer classes...I am enjoying it and keeping my fingers crossed that the plan in my head can and will work out.

This plan to finish school required me to quit a job that I absolutley loved and start looking for a new one. I thought I had a job lined up when I quit, but I never heard from the company again (meaning they went with the girl I was up against). Not having a job is really teaching me patience. I have sent so many resumes and applications out, but have only heard from a handful of people. I knew the job market was tough, but not this tough. It seems like everyday I get more frustated and more scared that my schooling is going to be postponed yet again.

In all of this mess I am so grateful for my dad, he knows exactly what to say to calm my nerves everytime! I have been spending a lot of time with him lately (more so then normal). We have been working down at Kacee's house; trying to get her yard just perfect. While working together we have had a lot of heart-to-heart talks. I don't know how he always knows what to say, but I am very lucky to have him in my life.

So, besides stressing I have been working hard on other things. Like I said we have been working down at Kacee's house on her flower gardens. I officially hate shoveling dirt (not that I cared for it before)! Here are some before pictures, they are not up-to-date pictures...she has sod in and flowerbeds wrapped around her house, but they will just show the before and later I will post the after when everything is complete.













I have also been trying to reintroduce fun back into my life. It seems like I am either studying, going to classes, or helping someone in my family. I am not doing a very good job of having fun again, but it is something I'm working on. One of the things I did was went to Riverdale's parade & fireworks on the fourth of July. It was a lot of fun and brought back many memories of when I was younger. My grandpa used to work for Riverdale Fire Department and so my sisters, cousins, and I would ride the fire trucks in the parade and throw candy. Then we would all go to the fireworks in the park while he shot them off.

This year we went to the parade and sat in our usual spot. We didn't go to the carnival, because Kari had to work and we had tickets to see Eclipse (Kari was supposed to come with us, but switched jobs and then no longer had the day off). Then we came home and had a nice dinner cooked outside (food always taste better when cooked outside)! Later that night we parked near convergies and watched the fireworks from our truck. It was perfect weather with good company!

















Since I have been staying busy with school, working down at Kacee's house, and looking for a job I sadley have to admit that I have been slacking on my writing. I have been working on a short story and will hopefully get it posted before the end of the month!

Thanks for reading!