Busy life...

Life has been crazy the last few weeks! I have started another semester at Weber State University (only six or so left!!!), started a new job, and have been trying to adjust to the life of a "college student". The only time I attended classes on the main campus was my first semester and during the summer (which is completely different than fall and spring semesters). It is hard going to a class everyday, going to school two hours earlier just to be able to park, and don't get me started on the hills at WSU. I am starting to enjoy my classes a little bit more each day. I am taking Calculus I and a Shakespeare class...calculus is tough, but I'm trying to work my way through it all. As for my Shakespeare class, I love it! It is all due to my professor who is simply wonderful!

Above all things are going well, I will try and make time for this blog between the mountains of homework I have!


Thanks for reading!

Beauty of life....

I have come to appreciate the smaller things within my life recently. Wait! Let me rephrase that; I have come to notice and appreciate the smaller things in my life more (I have always appreciated what I have, just more so now). I was listening to some friends talk about paying their bills, going to school, and needing to work three or four jobs just to make ends meet. It made me start thinking about how easy I really do have it! I am so grateful for parents who value education.

When I was younger my dad used to always say, "You will go to college! You will become something! You will do whatever it takes to get that accomplishment!" At the time I thought my dad was a bit controlling (telling me what I will and won't do). However, as I have become older I now realize he only wants the best for me and I am thankful for the extra little push. When it got closer to me graduating high school and getting ready to attend college I started to think about what school I wanted to attend. After careful consideration I had it narrowed down to two, Weber State University and Idaho State University. My parents being the level headed adults that they are told me to: "research, compare, make a pro and con list, etc…." Well, after researching, comparing, and making a bunch of different lists I wasn't sure if I could afford either school!

Since my parents value education so much, they have always said: "As long as your in school, you will always have a place to live, food to eat, and a car to drive" Not everyone has understood this concept. Many family members, former co-workers, and just random people have made statements like: that is just wrong mooching off your parents like that. Or other comments like I couldn’t allow my kids to do that, don’t you want to move out and get away from your parents, I don’t think I could still live at home with all the rules and such. First of all, I do not mooch off my parents---if I could move out I would! I had dreams of moving out when I was 18 and never coming back, but I also don’t want to be one of those people who move out and then back in every time something gets tough. My dad has been a big reason why I still live at home. Every time I mention moving out he always comments with: “what’s the rush?” Secondly, I don’t live by my parent’s rules---in fact I have never had rules to live by. My family lives by common courtesy, if you are going somewhere tell them, if you are going to stay out late-tell them, I have never had to ask permission to go out or stay out late. Even when I was in high school they always said—don’t be home too late (and I never was). I respect my parents and they in return respect me.

My parents chose to get married young and have a family. They have always counseled my sisters and I that education should come first; mainly because I think they regret the choice they made not to get an education. They struggled their first few years of marriage and they have made it very clear to us that an education is the only way to avoid the struggles they made. I never dreamed of living at home this long however, words cannot describe how grateful I am to have parents who have allowed me to live at home while attending school and to have a better life for my future.

So, I realized while listening to my friends that not only do I have it easy only needing to pay for my tuition, but that I also have some pretty awesome parents who only want the best for me!


On a different not, here are two haiku poems I have written (not titles yet). Many of the things I write have been dealing with life and death. I am not exactly sure why it has been my inspiration, but I will work with it!


Friendships come and go,
love burns within then fizzles
Life isn't as short


Rain drops tap the Earth
God has made it clean again
Life's new beginning



Thanks for reading!

Answers come in unexpected ways...

Since I am trying to use this blog as a journal and not just a creative outlet, I've decided I should probably write down this experience before I forget it. However, before I share the experience it deserves a little background...

I was born and raised LDS. I have always been a faithful member and have done everything that was asked and expected of me. I have always followed the church teachings, held callings, and as some would say acted as the "perfect Mormon girl". Well a few things happened a little over a year ago (things I won't go into detail with), but things that have really bothered me. People, within the church that I had trusted-broke that trust. People, who have always treated me well, quickly started treating me different. I know what you're saying as you read this...Samantha, you don't go to church for the people. You go for the feeling, teachings, and the Lord. I know this! However, it makes it very difficult to go to a place that makes you feel unwelcome. A place with people who hold positions in the church yet do things that make you question them and the church. I often wondered: how could a church call such a person to such a position? Things happened and were said to me that felt like a slap in the face.

Anyways, the more I attended church the sicker I felt about everything. I started to question: who I was and what I believed in. The question that constantly entered my head was: why am I attending a church that makes me feel worthless and unworthy? So, I stopped going. I started to really look within myself, in order to discover who I truly am. I started to ask myself other types of questions like: Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go in life? What type of person does the world see you as?

I was talking with my dad one day about how to know something is true. He told me I would have a feeling. Growing up in the church you are always told you will have a feeling when you know something is right. I've prayed many times in my life and always wondered if I was creating the feeling within myself by what I was thinking. Simple things like praying for someone, I was once told that the person would constantly be in your head. Well, if I were praying about them to begin with wouldn't I already be thinking about them? So, how would I know it was a different feeling? Little things like this have always bothered me, but yesterday in my British Literature class I felt the difference--it was a huge difference. Something I have never felt before!

Lately I have been praying about God. Not that I don't believe there is a God, but more to know he truly is there and does listen. My answer came in a very strange and real way. My professor started class by asking what everyone thought of the author William Wordsworth (he is who we have been studying this week). He then said that today in class he wanted to focus on one of his favorite poems written by Wordsworth,
"Lines Written in Early Spring"

I heard a thousand blended notes,
While in a grove I sate reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What man has made of man.

Through primrose tufts, in that green bower,
The periwinkle trailed its wreaths,
And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

The birds around me hopped and played,
Their thoughts I cannot measure; --
But the least motion which they made,
It seemed a thrill of pleasure.

The budding twigs spread out their fan,
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.

If this belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What man has made of man?

After reading the poem Dr. Cheney asked everyone to think of a time when they have connected with Mother Nature, to think of a time when all was still and peaceful. Then he asked if anyone wanted to share his or her experience--after he had shared a few of his.

As I sat in class thinking of my own moments and listening to those around me, I was filled with an unbelievable feeling. One that I had never felt before--I don't know how to describe it, but it was there. I grabbed my pencil and started to write on a piece of paper, not really knowing what I was writing at the moment. When I came home from school I took out my notebook and looked at what was written...I wrote: God is real, he does want me to speak with him every chance I can. God loves me and assures all things are possible. It is during the small quiet moments in life, when we can appreciate all that we have been given. "What man has made of man" is not what God wants man to be--try to remember who you are and what you stand for as you go throughout the world. Remember that he is always there for you and will never leave your side.

The answer to my prayer came in a very unexpected way. I never thought that I would get an answer at school, while sitting in class engaging in a discussion. But, I did! This is a small stepping-stone from the person I was a little over a year ago.



I hope it is the beginning of many stepping-stones....


Thanks for reading!

Absentee...

I am still trying to get the hang of this blog, that includes remembering that I have one and I need to post on it (so I'm sorry for the long post). Things have been pretty busy for me the last few weeks. I started another block of summer classes...I am enjoying it and keeping my fingers crossed that the plan in my head can and will work out.

This plan to finish school required me to quit a job that I absolutley loved and start looking for a new one. I thought I had a job lined up when I quit, but I never heard from the company again (meaning they went with the girl I was up against). Not having a job is really teaching me patience. I have sent so many resumes and applications out, but have only heard from a handful of people. I knew the job market was tough, but not this tough. It seems like everyday I get more frustated and more scared that my schooling is going to be postponed yet again.

In all of this mess I am so grateful for my dad, he knows exactly what to say to calm my nerves everytime! I have been spending a lot of time with him lately (more so then normal). We have been working down at Kacee's house; trying to get her yard just perfect. While working together we have had a lot of heart-to-heart talks. I don't know how he always knows what to say, but I am very lucky to have him in my life.

So, besides stressing I have been working hard on other things. Like I said we have been working down at Kacee's house on her flower gardens. I officially hate shoveling dirt (not that I cared for it before)! Here are some before pictures, they are not up-to-date pictures...she has sod in and flowerbeds wrapped around her house, but they will just show the before and later I will post the after when everything is complete.













I have also been trying to reintroduce fun back into my life. It seems like I am either studying, going to classes, or helping someone in my family. I am not doing a very good job of having fun again, but it is something I'm working on. One of the things I did was went to Riverdale's parade & fireworks on the fourth of July. It was a lot of fun and brought back many memories of when I was younger. My grandpa used to work for Riverdale Fire Department and so my sisters, cousins, and I would ride the fire trucks in the parade and throw candy. Then we would all go to the fireworks in the park while he shot them off.

This year we went to the parade and sat in our usual spot. We didn't go to the carnival, because Kari had to work and we had tickets to see Eclipse (Kari was supposed to come with us, but switched jobs and then no longer had the day off). Then we came home and had a nice dinner cooked outside (food always taste better when cooked outside)! Later that night we parked near convergies and watched the fireworks from our truck. It was perfect weather with good company!

















Since I have been staying busy with school, working down at Kacee's house, and looking for a job I sadley have to admit that I have been slacking on my writing. I have been working on a short story and will hopefully get it posted before the end of the month!

Thanks for reading!

Feeling Crafty....

I often find myself with down time that I don't know what to do with; this weekend was one of those times. I should have been studying for my final...but lets be real who wants to do that when I can be doing crafts? I learned how to tie quilts a few years ago from my Grandma Helm. She taught me for one of my young women's projects. It was probably the funnest three weeks I have ever had with her. I admire my grandma a lot; she is an exceptional woman who has been through a lot in her life. I feel like I have a special bond with her, because she taught me this craft. It is even more special to me since I know she learned from her own mother.

I had bought some fabric on Black Friday and I have been dreaming of what to make with it. It hit me one night as I was laying in bed exactly what I wanted to do with my Black Friday find...I am going to try a patchwork quilt. On my bed is a quilt that my Great Grandma made for my parent's wedding gift, it's a patchwork quilt, and the inspiration for my crafting project.

I have never done a patchwork, but have wanted to for a long time. So, I pulled out my sewing machine and got busy making a baby quilt. I have only done a line and a half, but I think it is turning out pretty well for being my first time!













Oh yeah, I did manage to get some studying for my final in too! I will be taking my test tomorrow; I just hope I can remember all of the stories and poems that we read.

Thanks for reading!

Memorial Day 2010

I am thinking that this blog might not be such a bad thing! Whenever I am unable to sleep my mind often goes crazy with ideas and now I have a place to store all of them.

So, since I am wide awake I decided to blog about Memorial Day. Memorial Day this year was an interesting one for me; it took on a whole different meaning. As I have gotten older my thoughts on what Memorial Day is have changed. I used to think of it as a kick off for summer (it usually meant there was only one week of school left). However, this year my thoughts were generated towards those who have and are serving our country, those in my family who have passed on, and also towards a friend that passed away a few years ago.

It never crossed my mind that I would have a friend pass away so young. Even though we had a falling out and were not longer close at the time of her passing; I can't seem to get her out of my mind. It seems like every day something reminds me of her. It is the simplest things that get me thinking about her too. The other day I drove past some kids jumping on a trampoline and it reminded me of her. Whenever someone mentions a story about girls camp; I see her laughing hysterically about a tree that's base of the trunk was shaped like a butt (and happened to be right next to the outhouse). I am grateful for the chance to have her apart of my life. I wish I could have been a better friend and that our goals in life didn't differ so much. You will always hold a special place in my heart Jessica!




Jessica was not the only one I remembered this Memorial Day. I thought a lot about my grandparents. I wish I could have known them better. My grandpa passed away when I was really young and my grandma was not a huge part of my life. I started a little before Memorial Day the gigantic task of scanning all my dad's slides into our computer. It has been fun getting to hear stories of when he was younger, getting to learn more about my grandparents, etc....



Memorial Day also was a day to remember how grateful I am for the brave men and women who have and are fighting for our country. I have written a poem about our Gift of Freedom...I don't usually share my work, so it is difficult to upload it on here. You will have to let me know what you think of it.

Gift of Freedom
Red, White, and Blue
Oh, how can I repay you?
You stand at attention
And yet often go unmentioned.


Your loved ones stand by
So that our flag can fly;
You fight for our voice
And to give us a choice.




Red, White, and Blue
Oh, how can I repay you?
You put yourself in danger
All for some strangers.


You die so we can live
It’s such a precious gift you give.
As I stand by your grave
I’m proud to live in the home of the brave.


Well since I have school early tomorrow morning I had better get off.

Thanks for reading!

The start of something new....

This is a new adventure for me; I am not one who shares my feelings let alone post them on the Internet for everyone to read. I have started this blog after a professor suggested the idea to me. He told me that it would enhance my writing skills and allow me to write without any pressure. I have always enjoyed telling stories since I was a little girl, so writing has become almost second nature to me. I wouldn't consider myself a "good" writer, but I am trying and I hope that it gets better with time. One of my goals in life is to eventually get some of my work published, so I guess this is a great starting point.

Writing is a way for me to escape the stress of everyday life. It allows me to enter a world that may have not existed otherwise. The ability to go somewhere, become someone new, and experience an adventure is indescribable.

I will use this blog as a type of journal; a place to share my adventures whether they be in my everyday life or ones I create.